CTA Survival Skills.

Merry Christmas!  It’s only 2 days away, and I doubt I’ll be blogging again before then.  So there was your Christmas greeting.  Today’s quote:

I’ve always found that you can control people better if you don’t see too much of them. – Mackenzie King, 1874 – 1950

 

I’ve never really been all that interested in controlling people.  It probably stems from my deep-rooted aversion to being a jerk.  I would much rather band together as a team to overcome obstacles.  That’s why sometimes when I’m riding the CTA buses, I take an inconspicuous look around and try to size people up.  Usually, being inconspicuous is best, lest the other passengers mistake me for a creeper.

Stop looking at me, SWAN.

I sometimes imagine what it would be like if a bus disaster were to befall us.  You know, earthquake, killer tree pheremones, Dennis Hopper, cannibals; the normal disaster stuff that would force people trapped on a bus together to rely on each other for survival.

Most of the people on a public bus are not really fit for survival.  Or then again, maybe they are, based on their very presence on the bus in the first place.  The instinct/skills required for a successful bus ride are threefold.

Firstly, you need a healthy respect for life.  If you don’t value your life or the lives of others, you will have a hard time getting the most out of a bus ride.  This is because the tension between life and death created by a bus ride will give you a spiritual experience.

Secondly, you need weapons training.

Thirdly, you need an exhaustive knowledge of the street layout of Chicago.  The CTA does not do a noteworthy job of alerting you when a certain stop is coming up, requiring you to develop the gift of foresight in order to avoid what I like to call the ‘Missed Stop Walk of Shame’.

Come on, after that panicked flailing to reach the stop request, then the hurried shoving through the crowd on the bus to the door, everyone knows why you’re out of breath and exasperated.  You missed your stop, and now you have to brave the slush of winter without waterproof boots (of which I now have a pair, never fear).

 

So look around, take note of the build of those sitting nearest you, do your best to predict their leadership skills, and hope for the best as you hop the bus this holiday season.

 

Question of the Day:

What disaster situation would cause you to band together with complete strangers?